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Writer's pictureCharlotte Frost

Workplace Resignations

Updated: Jun 30, 2020

There's always a list of reasons.


Can't Have a Letter of Resignation Without a List of Reasons

When I had a real job at an automotive college for nine years, part of my responsibilities, in addition to accounts payable, was also handling personnel records. That meant I was the person who signed up new employees and sometimes conducted exit interviews.


One conclusion I reached was that when someone resigns, it doesn't matter what their particular reasons are. Because when the employer addresses each of those issues and re-hires them, they still don't ever stay around long. In other words, whatever reasons they gave for leaving in the first place was just a symptom of their dissatisfaction. Once some or all symptoms were addressed, the dissatisfaction reappeared anyway, and the employee resigned again. Which suggests to me that many exiting employees often don't understand their own motivations. Each knew it "felt right" to leave the first time, so addressing their list of grievances in the name of bribing them to return didn't change the fact that it was best for them to move on. Sometimes they had to allow themselves to be rehired, and experience continued unhappiness, to realize their list of grievances wasn't the real reason they wanted to move on in the first place.


I particularly remember Rob, who taught auto body, where cars are repaired from being in wrecks. I don't know why he resigned, as whatever complaints he made to management, he probably just wrote a short resignation letter. But after a couple of months, he was re-hired with a shockingly high salary. He and the college director were in my office while the director puffed out his chest at how wonderful it was that Rob was back, and now that his issues had been addressed, he could be happy working there again. Well, Rob resigned a second time within a couple of weeks. Obviously, appeasing him with a high salary and addressing whatever other issues he may have didn't change the fact that he simply didn't want to work there anymore.


Once becoming self employed, I have seen over and over that the rehire thing, via addressing a departing employee's list of grievances, never works. This particularly happens when an employee has worked in a small office for many, many years. They finally decide they've had enough of the long commute, the inadequate raises, the frustrating customers, or whatever. So, after debating about it for months if not years, they finally turn in their resignation. Their boss (my client) is very sorry to see them leave, and then goes through a string of new hires who don't stick around long (perhaps because the new hires sense they'll never fill the shoes of the beloved departed employee.) In desperation, my client tries to solve the beloved employee's grievances -- give them extra gas money, allow more flexible hours, whatever -- and so the beloved ex-employee can't say no and comes back. That return never lasts very long. Unfortunately, when they leave the second time, the once beloved employee usually has a hostile relationship with their employer, because they never wanted to come back and are mad at themselves for doing so, and spend most of their hours at the office feeling frustrated, rather than being the pleasant, competent employee they used to be.


Wouldn't it be great if people could leave their jobs without feeling a need to come up with all sorts of reasons about why resigning is the best thing for themselves? If they could just write a letter saying, "I am resigning my position, effective in two weeks, because I feel like it." And instead of going into a panic that there must be something wrong with how they manage things, and they therefore desperately need to "fix" something that's perceived as broken, the employer simply says, "Sorry to see you go. All the best!" And then focus on finding someone new.


It's funny how we seem to feel that, whatever decisions we make, we need to come up with all sorts of reasons to justify them. We can't simply say, "I'm getting a new car because I want a new car." No, we have to say, "Well, my old car will probably will break down soon." Or, "I'm going to get a new car eventually, so I may as well while the dealerships are offering great deals." Or, "My car has that rip in the seat, and it's only going to get bigger, so I'd better get a new one." We believe we can't have something we want simply because we want it. We need to come up with reasons to justify what will make us happiest -- and why it's okay that we want to make ourselves happy.


We humans talk about how amazing it is that animals have instincts. Humans have instincts, too, if we'd only allow ourselves to trust them. Sometimes, it's time to move on from a job simply because it's time to move on. It doesn't make our job or our superiors "wrong" in some way. The right time is the right time.


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