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Writer's pictureCharlotte Frost

My Dear Friends

Updated: Jun 14, 2020

We have far more differences than similarities.

I have three dear friends that I've know eighteen years or more. When one considers all those friends who come and go over the years, it's so astonishing to realize that some relationships have lasted decades and will continue until one of us passes


While two of these gals are from fandom and have met briefly at a con, via their connection to me when I didn't attend, they otherwise don't know each other and were involved in different fandoms.


There are some things -- mostly inane --that the four of us have in common. We are all well into middle age, and in one case a senior citizen. None of us has ever been divorced. We are all what I would call highly responsible people. If we say we're going to be some place at a certain time, we will be there. It would never occur to any of us to blow off a stated commitment. We've all been successful at our jobs or other endeavors where we have responsibilities. However, none of us is particularly concerned with our outward appearance.


Two of us have been married for decades and has children. Two of us have never been married but have lived with a boyfriend, with one of those having raised a relative as her own.


One of us is a History major, one an Animal Science major, one got her Art degree, and I'm not even sure what the fourth majored in. Probably something concerning business.


One of us always votes Democrat, one always votes Republican, one is a registered Independent and has voted pretty equally across the parties. The fourth is probably Republican, based on family background and the type of environment she resides in, but I'm not sure if she even bothers voting because "they're all crooks, anyway".


We all love dogs. Two of us love horses even more. One loves cats more.


One of us lives in the middle of the country, another in the Midwest, one in Texas, and one in Montana.


Two of us have stayed slender throughout our lives, one of us is commonly overweight, and one is excessively overweight.


One of us is Catholic with new age leanings, one became anti-religion but has spoken knowingly of "the lord", one is too practical to ever speak of spirituality, and one of us is very into the Law of Attraction.


One friend I communicate primarily with via telephone, one I communicate primarily via lengthy emails every few weeks or so, and one I communicate with via brief emails.


One of us has worked in sales for a major corporation, then moved to a more satisfying job in the non-profit sector. One has primarily been a housewife, but did have a satisfying part time job at a library for a number of years. One has worked at a private occupational college and then became self-employed. One of us has worked in retail when employed, but has mostly run her small family farm.


Three of us lost a parent or sibling at a relatively young age. One of us has both parents still living.


In recent years, one of us has loved watching "Yellowstone", one has loved watching "Prodigal Son", one doesn't obsess over TV with having only five channels, and one likes various shows at times but would still just as soon watch "Starsky & Hutch".


One of us has met David Soul. Two of us have met Secretariat. If the fourth met anyone famous, I don't remember her saying so.


One I met because she loved my Starsky/Hutch stories. One I met because I reached out to her privately after some drama on a The Sentinel discussion list. One I met because we were both members of a horse racing memorabilia club (decades before Ebay), which was international but we discovered that we only lived an hour from each other.


One friend I've met in person three or four times the past half dozen years. One I've seen three times in eighteen years, including recently. One I've met a few times when her work brought her to my city, but not since visiting her new house in 2005.


One of us is retired and doesn't have money concerns. One is on the brink of retirement but is worried about having enough money. One hasn't prepared for retirement, probably won't retire for another ten years, and isn't worried about the money. One has a few years until retirement and has been prepared for it but will probably still worry about having enough money.


Two of us are very opinionated about the rightness or wrongness of others' actions. One less so. One used to be highly opinionated and judgmental but has become less concerned with such things.


Two of us have come through cancer diagnosis with flying colors. One doesn't like doctors, or anything modern, but did have helpful surgery a few years back. One hasn't seen a doctor since 2003.


The four of us are so different. I cherish each of these relationships so much, especially in contrast to how quickly other friendships have formed throughout my life, usually via a common interest, and then dropped away.


Friends are wonderful. Lifelong friends are super special.



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