When others tell me how much they hate their jobs.
Actually, I don't hear that very often, thankfully. But when somebody I care about expresses dismay at their occupational circumstances, it's hard not to have the same reaction as when someone tells you all the things they don't like about their spouse or significant other: "Why don't you get out of the that situation that is making you so unhappy?" Of course, they always have all sorts of reasons as to why that's not possible or feasible.
My best friend Ken in my horse racing game has his own auto glass business in Alabama. Over seven or eight years now, he occasionally tells me how exhausting his job is. Especially when it's summer and the temperature can be over a hundred degrees; plus, since he drives out to his clients -- which often means long drives to rural areas -- he is often working in sweltering conditions, especially when the car is parked on pavement, from which even more heat rises.
He has endless clientele who count on him to fix their windshields. When he talks about how exhausted he is at the end of a day, because of the expectations of so many customers -- or simply how much he hates his job -- I naturally want to try to find solutions. Why can't he rent air conditioned space and tell his customers they're going to have to come to him? Since he's hinted before that he has enough money to retire -- he's in his 50s and lives in a house that's been in his family for generations -- why doesn't he simply retire?
Of course, he always has reasons as to why changing his situation isn't that simple. It makes more sense to him to be unhappy, and sometimes he'll apologize to me about venting about his circumstances. (For that matter, he often is unhappy with the racing game we play, and sometimes threatens to quit... and yet he keeps playing.)
The other option, if someone can't see it being feasible to change their circumstances, it to just plain make peace with where they are. In other words, get happy. If you feel your situation can't change, then why not make peace with it?
I sometimes go out to see clients to help with their Quickbooks. At one such venue, the office girls were complaining, in passing, about how the boss took money out of the petty cash can and wouldn't bring back a receipt. They were very frustrated by this lack of business protocol. As anyone who accounts for petty cash knows, one must have receipts to prove how the money was spent. I had this same frustration way back when I was a teenager and ran the office for the screen printing company owned by my boyfriend and a partner. They would take money out of the petty cash can, and sometimes say, "We're taking forty dollars and going to lunch." Then they wouldn't bring back a receipt, nor any change from the restaurant. They were perplexed that I thought a receipt was so important. It was their company and, by God, if they wanted to spend forty bucks of their own money they were going to, to hell with a receipt or worrying about returning a few dollars of change to the petty cash can.
So, my advice to these women were that they weren't going to change their boss, so why get upset about something that is out of their control? Why not make peace with the fact that he is the way he is, and they can do their best to scribble receipts on notepaper to account for the money taken? That's what I'd learned to do when I faced that situation. I don't think they were convinced. After all, why find a solution when one can continue to complain and feel unhappy? Actually, they were very happy when I solved an ongoing problem they'd been having with Quickbooks, even after a call to the tech support department said the problem couldn't be solved. While on hold for the tech to consult with a higher-up, I solved it. I don't remember what the particular problem was, but I remember how joyous it felt to inform the tech, when she got back on the phone and said that there wasn't a solution, that I'd just solved it and explained how. The office women were quite impressed, but their working lives weren't quite perfect because, you know, the couldn't train their boss to bring back receipts for money taken out of the petty cash can.
I'm a big believer in the Abraham-Hicks philosophy about the best spot to be in life at any moment: "Peace with where you are and eager for more."
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