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Writer's pictureCharlotte Frost

Being Helpful - Naively

Updated: Jun 28, 2019

Sometimes "just want to help" is really stupid.

In the early 90s, I was Accounts Payable/Personnel for a private college that taught automotive mechanics. The fact that it was private meant that it was in business for profit. (Unfortunately, those with a negative and pragmatic bent about commercialization will never be able to appreciate how much those instructors and management wanted to give their students a good education that would insure they would always have viable careers.)


Still, the fact that they were in business for profit meant that the Admissions Department was aggressive in advertising, in its quest for more students, which meant those in the department would make more money. At one point, they sent out some kind of survey to addresses on a list, aimed at those who might be interested in a career in auto mechanics. I was sitting in the office of one such admissions employee, Phyllis, and she (yes, she. We actually had more elderly women in the Admissions Dept over the course of several years than men) was opening up envelopes containing the surveys that had been mailed back. At one point, she frowned and said, "Why would somebody do this?" "What?" I asked. Phyllis showed me the survey form. "They filled out the survey, but then checked the box that said they weren't interested in further information. If they're not interested, why would they fill out the survey?" I replied, "Maybe they thought they were just being helpful by filling it out." She scoffed at that possibility.


I had a reason for suggesting such. I was the type of person who would fill out a survey I received in the mail, genuinely thinking I was being helpful, even if I wasn't interested in whatever product or service was being offered with the survey. It wasn't until that moment in Phyllis's office that I realized it had been ridiculous for me to have ever done such. Such surveys weren't to objectively find out what one thought about a certain subject; it was just a way of compiling of advertising list of potential customers. I guess they had a box "not interested in further information" as a way of making the survey look objective.



The desire to be 100% honest also comes under the heading of being helpful. Sometimes, that desire to be honest just makes other people's lives more difficult and nobody benefits.


At the same automotive college, I came across an invoice for a product the school had purchased where we weren't charged sales tax. It was correct that a government-owned school shouldn't be charged sales tax, but our school was in business for profit and therefore we should be charged tax. So, under the heading of being proper and dutiful, I called the accounts payable department of the vendor. "Just letting you know that you should have charged us sales tax," I told her, "so, I'm going to add sales tax to your invoice." She huffed, "I've just closed out our books for the month! Now, I'm going to have to go back and change everything!" She was not happy. My desire to be "honest" just caused someone else to have a lot more work, as well as causing our school to pay more than the invoice said.



Once, when I refinanced my house, at the closing I was told that, after the crunching of all the numbers, I'd be receiving an $1100 refund. Cool! Sure enough, within a week I received that very nice check from the closing company. Then, a few days later, I received another $1100 check, this time from the mortgage company. Obviously, the right hand didn't know what the left was doing and both companies mistakenly sent me a check. What to do? Boy, could I use an extra $1100, on top of the $1100 mini windfall I'd already received. But I really didn't think that second $1100 was mine. Yet I imagined, if I tried to call the title company, they'd just direct me to the mortgage company, and if I called the mortgage company, they'd tell me the error was with the title company. So, rather than annoy people by giving them a problem to deal with, it made more sense to keep the money. If someone ever wrote me about it, saying an error had been made, then I'd give it back.


I told a fan friend (who is still a dear friend) about the situation, and she was adamant that the money should be returned. "There's no way I would keep that second check," she insisted. "These situations have a way of biting you later." Since we sometimes had spiritual discussions, I said, "But what if this is the universe's way of giving me additional money that I've wished I had?" It wouldn't do to spit in God's face when He answers a prayer, so to speak. And besides, I would indeed refund the money if anyone contacted me about it.


In the end, I deposited that second check and spent the money. Nobody ever contacted me about it.


Thanks, God. :-)


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