It's funny how much people want to turn it into a tragedy.
I talked to a good fan friend on the phone yesterday. She's been sick and is still stick but on the road to recovery. She's more sociable than I am, but while also being in her late 50s, she's also lived alone most of her life.
She usually travels either a short ways or a long ways for most of the holidays. But occasionally, she feels relieved to not have to go anywhere and enjoy the holiday alone at home. This Christmas, it was a blessing that she hadn't made any plans, since she was sick and mostly just wanted to be in bed.
Her brother in another state was unnerved. "You aren't doing anything for Christmas?" he demanded, totally appalled. No, she wasn't. "What are you having for dinner?" he wanted to know. She replied, "Scrambled eggs and toast." He about lost it. "Scrambled eggs and toast on CHRISTMAS?" We were both laughing as she relayed this conversation.
"I can't say it in that tone you use," she told me, "but it's that 'poor thing' thing that you talk about. People think you're a 'poor thing' if you spend a holiday alone, even when you're very happy to be alone."
Being alone on a holiday always makes me think of my story "Compassion's Heart", which is probably S/H fandom's favorite Charlotte Frost story. I feel like I've told the associated anecdote a million times, so I'll just quote from my Livejournal post that is something of an FAQ on the story (aka a self-interview):
First, know that I was never very close to my family. I was so glad to move to my own place when I was eighteen. I was so relieved to get out of that environment, that I was never eager to go back. Plus, the whole celebration of holidays didn't make sense to me. They seemed so phoney. I'll skip the details. Bottom line, going to family get-togethers always felt like a chore that I'd just as soon bypass.
The year prior to writing "Compassion's Heart", a had a fan friend that had stayed with me for six months, and I had gone to her relatives for Thanksgiving and Christmas. So, the next year, this fan friend again invited me to her family for Thanksgiving. I didn't want to go, because I was involved in writing "Compassion's Heart", and that's what I most wanted to do with my days off. I told my own family that I was going to my friend's, even though I really wasn't. So, on Thanksgiving, I was writing the scene where Hutch was being whipped. I get a call, and it's my friend's mother, talking about how sad and terrible it is for someone to spend Thanksgiving alone. I tried to reassure her that I wasn't in a sad state whatsoever -- I was very happy, doing what I most wanted to be doing. I don't think I convinced her, lol.
I remember sort of mentally stepping back, and recognizing that, to an outsider, I probably appeared to be a sad figure. I really wasn't, but I let my mind go there. So, while I was writing Hutch being whipped, I tapped into that whole "poor thing" frame of mind. Which I think helped that scene a lot, in terms of the thoughts going through Hutch's mind. So, bottom line, it was a really wonderful thing that I stayed home alone, to write, that Thanksgiving, and also really wonderful that my friend's mother called to express her concern. It helped that scene feel more genuine.
(The entire post on the story's background is here.)
So, for me, the idea of being alone on a holiday always brings a positive and fruitful memory.
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