In the eye of the storm.
Two of my best friends -- both horse people, ironically -- have husbands with serious health issues. They can't plan for the future, because they don't know how much of a future there is to look forward to.
A good fan friend of mine, who is 70yo, has been thrown for quite a loop when her son-in-law decided a few months back that he wants a sex change operation. She ended up going into therapy (I didn't think she was that kind of person) to figure out how to deal with it and was put on an antidepressant. Then she found out that her other (grown) child is getting a divorce.
Yesterday in my horse racing game, we found out that a player in her early 40s had passed away. No details have been revealed, but it was quite a shock, as she had written a fair amount of articles and had interaction with quite a number of players, as recently as a few days ago.
A few months ago, I called Toni, the manager from the old racing partnership started in 1995, for the first time in years, just to chat. She has 18 horses "that don't do anything" but hang out in corrals at her place. It costs over $2000 a month to feed them all hay, but she won't sell any of them, since she won't be able to control what happens to them from there. Then she contacted me a few days ago, upset and nostalgic. In addition to being forced to retire from her job at the University of Arizona, and now can only have a part time position, she reported that 28yo Snow Pack, the first horse our partnership ever owned, is stiff in her back end and will likely need to be put down soon. It costs some $800 to put a horse down, plus needing to pay somebody to come with a backhoe to dig a hole to bury the horse. She's anticipating asking the old partners for donations to help pay for it. In the meantime, she started a private Facebook Group and invited the old partners to join, so there's been a lot of sharing of photographs and memories. She also said that she knows, at 65yo, she doesn't have a future with horses. Her body is too beat up from various injuries (mostly equine related) over the years.
For a long time, the last ailment -- a head cold -- I could remember having was the week I moved into my current home in 2005. Then a couple of years ago, I was rather appalled to find myself with a head cold and that it took a full week for it to go away. Then I got one a few weeks ago. Super annoying for one not accustomed to illness, especially after the head cold left to leave a severe old-lady hacking cough in its wake. Then I went to the dentist for the first time since 2015 last week because of a toothache, and am scheduled for a root canal on Monday.
Aagh! Feels like, as one ages, things and especially people around them start falling apart.
But I know from experience that it just takes a shift in perspective, and an emphasis on what feels best, to allow wonderful things to emerge.
All my bills are paid and clients still owe a fair amount from last month. That's delicious gravy.
My dogs are all happy and healthy, even as 15yo beagle Sammie has had some moments when he doesn't seem all there. When we get ready to go for a walk, he acts like it's the most exciting thing that's ever, ever happened -- to the point of leaping at me -- even though we walk every day. This 14yo neighborhood now has fully mature trees and squirrels have emerged in abundance. That keeps the dogs entertained and eager to hang outside more.
The weather has been incredible. Only one day has hit as high as 80 so far, and there's been a fair amount of badly-needed moisture. I've hardly had to turn on the sprinklers. The yard look great.
Tomorrow is Belmont Stakes day, and on horse racing sites there's the usual looking back to past winners. Secretariat still gets far and away the most play. It's been 46 years since his incredible 31-lengths performance, an event that stamped him as my personal symbol for All Things Good and Wonderful. He ran the 1-1/2 miles in 2:24 flat, and in all the decades since, the second most fasted times have been 2:26 flat, which is 10 lengths slower. Jockey Ron Turcotte is the last of his people to still be living, and he recently revealed the week leading up to the Belmont Stakes that Secretariat bucked him off two different mornings, just feeling good and being playful. He convinced the groom to not let trainer Lucien Lauren know, so the latter wouldn't have yet one more thing to stress over.
I'm thinking about taking a trip to New England in 2020. I went to New England once in 1989, when I drove back with my boyfriend, as he had spent his early years in Maine and hadn't been back. I'd like to see it again and have been mulling over whether to drive or fly, and am leaning heavily toward driving, since it allows so much freedom. Plus, if I took a full two weeks, there should allow plenty of time for spur of the moment side trips. It would be a chunk of expense, especially needing to board the dogs (though I'll likely be down to two by then), but if I decide I for sure want to do it, it won't be an issue. So, I'm enjoying letting the idea develop in the back of my mind without needing to make any decisions in the near future. For this year, I'll drive up to Montana in September again to see my friend Connie.
I'm also letting some writing ideas bake in the back of my mind.