Deadpanned by the auto mechanic.
I only fill my car up with gas once a month, because I drive so few miles. Most trips are three miles to the grocery store, and a few times a month, eight miles to the commercial center of town. Only rarely do I have to drive up the interstate to places farther away.
So, despite being 2.5 years old, my car has less than 17,000 miles on it (and some 4500 of those are vacation miles). When I took it in to my Toyota dealer for an oil change yesterday, the mechanic was very apologetic about needing to charge me, since it was out of the two-year warranty. Most American cars with 17,000 miles are barely a year old and therefore still get maintenance work for free.
The mechanic went over all the things they would check during the complimentary inspection, and concluded with a straight face, "I'm sure we won't find any problems since it's still a baby." That was funny.
Indeed, no problems were found, just a couple "we probably need to change this next time" -- which will be at least a year from now, since it'll take that long to drive enough miles to make another oil change necessary.